The Severed Cortex

Link: http://www.harlemglobetrotters.com/events/

As usual I'm behind on posts about Robert because we hung out way back on January 5th. I think I'm behind this time mostly because the evening did not end all that great. Normally I'd never consider going to see the Harlem Globetrotters, but Magellan frequently gets deals on tickets for events at the various venues across the metropolitan area. For this event I could save $8 by using the double-secret, super, Magellan only spy code, but of course they don't mention the $2 'handling' fee ... or whatever it was called. At least I could avoid giving any money to Ticketmaster or MetroTix and instead give the money directly to the venue.

I picked Robert up on the way home from work and he seemed excited to go. Tina had to work a double shift so there was some mix-up on what time and where I needed to bring Robert back. Once we got that straightened out via a couple of phone calls we headed to the house to pick up Nancy.

I was worried that I wouldn't be able to go from work to Alton, then Edwardsville, then to Union Station to park and eat, and still make it to the game at 7:00. It turns out we had plenty of time and we settled into our seats just as the show was getting ready to start. When I saw the Globetrotters as a kid they played the Washington Generals. I guess a team gets real tired of losing all the time and the Generals have now passed that torch to the New York Nationals, a team led by a 5'7" guard who badly needed a haircut. After an extremely long introduction ceremony, the game started. By the end of the first quarter I realized that it was the exact same show it was when I was a kid. This show seemed worse though. The biggest problem was that the players weren't mic'ed up so you couldn't hear all that well. We sat eight rows from the court and we couldn't hear the players at all. The second biggest problem was that there was no Meadowlark Lemon, Curly Neal, Goose Tatum, Marques Haynes, or clown prince himself, "Geese" Ausbie. Don't get me wrong, Paul "Showtime" Gaffney does a great job in carrying the Meadowlark Lemon role, but it's impossible to be as good as he was. The third most obvious problem is because I'm old and don't view the Globetrotters in awe like I did when I was a kid. The kids didn't seem to care about any of my reasons why I thought the Globetrotters were a sub-standard product and had a great time watching them anyway. Robert seemed to have a good time, but he liked the mascot and the trampoline jumping dunk squad best.

When the 4th period started I headed out to see if I could pick up a souvenir for Robert, but man were they expensive. For some reason there were no programs left and the mini basketball cost $30. That's way too much for me to spend on useless junk. Robert was already upset that I wouldn't buy him cotton candy or licorice rope, but I've learned you can't give this kid a bunch of sugar; especially at 9:00 in the evening. When I got back and he asked for a basketball I had to tell him no. I could tell he was crushed, but I was already out $125 bucks for tickets, gas, dinner, and concessions. The worst part was that Robert pouted, sulked, and moped horribly when we left. By the time we got back to the Union Station parking lot I had had enough and just picked him up and carried him to the car. He said nothing as we maneuvered out of the parking lot and ten minutes later he was asleep.

Little known facts:
The Harlem Globetrotters owner, Mannie Jackson, is from Edwardsville, Illinois and in 2006 he held the Globetrotter tryouts at the YMCA two blocks from my house.
I attended college with two future Harlem Globetrotters and Nancy attended college with one. Arnold 'A-Train' Bernard (who plays for the Harlem Wizards now) was the dimunitive point guard for Charlie Spoonhour's SMS Bears in 1989, and Kelvin 'Special K' Hildreth was a widebody power forward for Bob Boyd's Mississippi State Bulldogs in 1984. Nancy attended college with Gary Hooker at Murray State.
A lot of great athletes played for the Harlem Globetrotters but few know that St. Louis Cardinals Cy Young winning pitcher Bob Gibson was among them.