The Severed Cortex

Link: http://www.amazon.com/Happy-Endings-Tales-Meaty-Breasted-Zilch/dp/1416950222/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-1514635-5264950?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1185661958&sr=8-1

Jim Norton is a vile, disgusting excuse for a human being. If you don't believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution, take one look at Jim Norton. You'll quickly come to the conclusion that he's as close to an ape as any of us. In fact, he sort of looks as if he's the by-product of Don Rickles having sex with a gorilla. ... and I'm not talking about the baby either ... (rim-shot).

But, (genital) warts aside, Jim Norton is pretty funny sometimes. Hilariously funny in a brutally frank sort of way. I don't really laugh out loud while reading often, but this book found me doing that several times. And then other times it was like dry, white toast.
I first learned of Jim Norton from the old Comedy Central show Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Tough Crowd featured a bunch of sick, twisted, comedians who discussed current events, usually in some misogynistic way. Jim was a regular and he always had the sickest, out there, thoughts. Most of his insights, while dead on, were so whacked out that you wonder if Ol' Jim had a couple of chromosomes tied up in a knot. Tough Crowd didn't last too long mainly because it was just too crude and juvenile. It set out to give some real comedic discourse on current topics and quickly devolved into the Nick DiPaulo turns into a caricature of himself while Colin desperately tries to keep the show from looking like a bunch of buddies sitting around drinking brews ... show. Those were the high points. And, of course, so were the occasional Jim Norton moments.

Apparently Jim Norton made his real mark on the Opie & Anthony show. I've never actually listened to their show, but I'm sure I'm not missing much. Although he's been on the show since 1999, Jim is now one of the official co-hosts. So. Maybe there is a reason to get XM radio? If his daily dose of radio is anything like his book, it's a toss up as to whether it'd be worth it or not.

The book is an odd collection of personal anecdotes, awkward memoirs, sexual deviancy, rants, and failed sit com ideas. The failed sit coms are the best parts. Most start out with some innocuous idea and then spin into a vortex of absurd. Hilariously absurd. The sex stories were sort of the gory car wreck in the book for me. I didn't want to look, but I couldn't turn away. (The thought of anyone agreeing to have sex with Jim Norton repulses me). The stories are told in typical Jim Norton fashion; brutally honest and leaving nothing to the imagination. Once again, as if you'd want to imagine Jim naked. (shudder) They are also not for the weak of heart or for the easily offended. In fact, if you are easily offended, you should stop reading this. The awkward memoirs weren't all that interesting to me. Big deal you were a goofy teenager. We all were.
This book is strictly only for the sick and twisted. If you can find this on the bargain shelf or if your local library happens to have a copy, (we can hope they have higher standards), grab the book and store it next to john crapper. Otherwise, don't feel guilty about passing this one by.