The Severed Cortex

Link: http://www.beerorkid.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/bacon-_flowchart.jpg

Truer words have never been spoken.

A co-worker sent this to me today with a note that read: "For some reason I thought of you…..this made me laugh out loud!". Why would she think of me and more importantly why would she laugh out loud at the expense of delicious, salty, hickory smoked and/or maple flavored bacon? We all know bacon is no laughing matter so I don't know why she would be laughing, but I surmise it's partial insanity brought on from not eating a proper diet consisting of an abundance of bacon. (She's a vegetarian, although in a therapeutic breakthrough moment she did confide in me that her only weakness was really crispy bacon ... true story). It's because she knows the truth. Bacon is the answer, no matter the question. She also knows it because she sat next to me for more than three years. She knows that I stand up for bacon, nature's most perfect naturally occurring food. Even the guys at the butcher shop stop and ask, "What, no bacon?" when my order does not contain bacon. Does this mean I've given up on my dream of a bacon in every pot and a bacon in every garage? No, it does not. It just means I have bacon at home already. I'm confident knowing that if there's ever a bacon emergency, I am thusly prepared. That's just how I am about bacon and I'm going to be quite unapologetic about it.