The Severed Cortex

Link: http://rss.cnn.com/~r/rss/cnn_topstories/~3/365110529/index.html

So this is the SOB that's ruined curbside check in for me. I've wondered for three solid years and now I know. Let me tell you sir, you have made traveling by air extremely difficult for me and for that I believe you owe me an apology. I'm not buying your stinking book either, even though I probably agree with most of it.

It wouldn't surprise me if the name James Moore did wind up on the watch list for politically motivated reasons. I certainly wouldn't put it past this current bunch of totalitarian ass wipes to do something like that. (See Joe Wilson / Valerie Plame). I knew in my heart that it couldn't be a real terrorist because even though I'm ululating mad about it, I know no one named James Moore has time to organize a terrorist plot. We're all too busy writing books, or winning medals in boxing and cycling, or being high ranking military officials (definitely not these guys), or scholars, or politicians, or pool sharks, or best of all changing our names to Slim Harpo and being a dead, bad ass, blues man. Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll just change my name to Slim Harpo, learn to play guitar a hell of a lot better, and go out on the road on the chitlin' circuit. In a bus of course.

One things for sure. If I see you sir, I will certainly show you that I'm a King Bee and You'll Be Sorry One Day that you caused me ol' Harpo's Blues. And I know you'll be Wonderin' and Worryin' about it that's for sure. But Don't Start Crying Now just cause you know for sure I've Got My Finger On Your Trigger. I know Late Last Night, with your Midnight Blues, you were Sittn' Here Wondering about What's Goin On Baby. Rest assured, you won't wake up and say What A Dream, cause you know I'm for real and I'm coming to get you. You may have thought that We're Two Of A Kind and maybe I did too, but I can see now that you ain't my Mutual Friend, like ol' Mohair Sam is. Why is that? It's cause you can't Shake Your Hips and stop the Rainin' In My Heart. One thing I know for sure is that it's Still Rainin' In My Heart. But the more I think about it the more I think I'm Gonna Keep What I've Got cause I Love The Life I'm Living. You're lucky I won't Tip On In or be Buzzin' round, cause I Need Money and The Price Is Too High for huntin' you down. Don't think I'm doin' it Just For You either or cause I'm scared of them Folsom Prison Blues. I ain't. Keep that in mind.

Count 'em baby. That's 25 Slim Harpo titles in one paragraph and that's without using the ultimate one, Baby Scratch My Back. 26 if you count that there is a Tip On In part 1 and a Tip On In part 2. Sometimes I look at myself and think I'm a god damn creative genius. At least I'm humble about it.