The Severed Cortex

Link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486321/

I actually got to drive my new car today. I've driven it a couple of times but as was expected, I've driven it little. Since moving to the metro east, Nancy usually meets her friends for breakfast down in the city somewhere. Normally I cook myself a cholesterol bomb on Saturday, but my recent illness and my hairdresser's recent illness meant that I needed to get my hair cut. Saturday was the only time that worked out for both of us.
I dropped Nancy off at Kopperman's in the west end, a place that I like OK, but isn't my first choice. Too Jewish for me, plus their breakfast potatoes are too soggy and spiced incorrectly if you ask me. Instead, seeing as how it was 11:00, I chose to get a pastrami and swiss with spicy mustard on wheat and a Fitz's cream soda at Carl's deli. Carl no longer runs the place, but I would argue that it's still the best pastrami in town. They don't skimp on the portions either. In fact, there is so much pastrami grease and mustard that it's a giant mess to eat. And, of course, right in the middle of being elbow deep in delicious muck, Robert called. I had called the night before hoping to be able to pick him up and he was calling me back to let me know his room was clean and he could go. I asked what he wanted to do, since I had no plan, and his choice was either Dave and Busters or Fly Me to the Moon. The following conversation took place.

M: Is Fly Me to the Moon a movie?
R: I don't know.
M: Is it something in Alton?
R: I don't know.
M: How did you hear about it?
R: I don't know.
M: Seems like you don't know much, but I'll figure it out.

I had no idea how to figure it out. I picked up Nancy and she had no idea either. We headed to Williams Sonoma to burn off some gift cards in the hopes that we would come up with another idea before picking him up. Suddenly it hit me. I have a cell phone and can surf the internet to find out. A quick Google search showed me it was indeed a movie and that it was playing at the Mills Mall and at Ronnie's in South County. The latter was not impossible, but I didn't want to drive from Frontenac to Alton to Mehlville. Not that Frontenac to Alton to Earth City is much better. But we did so anyway, making it to the Mills Mall in time for the 4:20 show. Ha. 4:20. Turns out that Fly Me To The Moon is a 3D flick and being 4:20 enhanced would have probably given it a new meaning.
I was used to the crap 3D movies they released when I was a kid. I think Jaws 3D was the last one I saw and everyone knows what a complete bowl of poo that was. Twenty-five years later the technology is much better. Immediately you could tell a real depth to the 3D and the first couple of minutes showcased the effect with bugs flying around in the swamp. It felt like you could reach out and touch them.
The story revolves around 3 young flies searching for adventure. They hitch a ride on the Apollo 11 rocket and become the first flies on the moon. The film utilized the 3D effect a lot with the flies and a whole lot more with the rocket and weightlessness. But, in the end, the 3D effect was not enough to save the film. The writing was terrible, the voiceovers were awful except for Chrisopher Lloyd, and the plot was overly predictable. As I get older I believe the whole man on the moon thing was completely staged. We were in a space war with the Russians and propaganda was king. If we really did go to the moon, why haven't we done anything more with it forty years later. This film, in my mind, furthers that propaganda. Yes, I see conspiracies in a lot of things.
But, Robert laughed a lot and loved the 3D effect so I guess it was all worth it.

Afterwards we ate at Chevy's and made Robert do Steve Erkel impressions with his 3D glasses. He was a dead ringer. We also looked at fish in the aquarium at Cabela's. As usual, Robert fell asleep on the drive home.