The Severed Cortex

I love Starbucks coffee. I know there are a lot of people out there that hate Starbucks either because it is too strong, too expensive, or too pretentious. I can agree with them for the most part, but I do love strong coffee. In fact, I like my coffee like I like my women; black and bitter. Normally, cheapskate that I am, I would never spring for something as pricey as Starbucks when gas station coffee will do, but there's something about Starbucks coffee that makes me pay the extra. I believe it to be some sort of heroin derivative additive and one barista told me on the sly that he believed the same thing.
If it isn't the 'additives', what could it be? Whatever it is it's making my pee smell like more Starbucks coffee. I don't notice this about anything else I drink. I could drink a case a beer, shake the dew off my lilies twenty times, and not one of those times would it smell like beer. I drink gallons of XXX Vitamin Water and almost equal amounts of Fruitopia. Not once have I completed the beverage cycle of life and said, I detect hints of raspberry, lemon, and acai. (Seriously, what's an acai?) So they get you with the smell coming in the store, the coffee itself, and then another time when you raise the local water table. It's probably their way of saying this cup is done and you need to go get another one.
As if the heroin additive wasn't enough by itself. Evil bastards.