The Severed Cortex

Why would any man for that matter? They have to be the most uncomfortable things ever invented with the exception of maybe a misaligned athletic supporter. Ouch. For those women that read this, let me give you a small piece of advice. Not once has any guy ever been attracted to you because you are wearing high heel shoes. No guy has ever said, my god that woman is hideous but because she's wearing high heel shoes I'm attracted to her. We are either attracted to you for other reasons or we are not. Maybe I'm alone in that sentiment but I doubt it.

I arrived at the designated location to see roughly 100 guys in high heel shoes. I was really glad there was a strong turnout. I was afraid there would only be 20 or so and I would stand out. (Literally at what was most likely 6' 5"). My joy would turn to sadness when I saw the shoes they picked out for me; shiny gold stiletto heel pumps with a 3+ inch heel. My first thought was there's no way I can walk in that. When I put them on and stood up my fear was confirmed. I could barely stand and almost immediately the front of both my feet started hurting. By the time I made it over to the starting line I had figured out how to walk in them without a) breaking my ankle and b) falling over. There was a pronounced bow-leggedness. Let's just say that in an undercover sting operation, my gait is not fooling anyone except the truly desperate or the incredibly stupid.
I was able to talk Robert into walking with me but he wouldn't wear high heel shoes. I'm not sure I would have fared as well without him for support along the way. One block into it my feet were killing me. Once we made the turn for the last four blocks to the Capitol, my dogs were on fire. My toes were numb and the balls of my feet felt like they had been treated as if they were Al Qaeda suspects. The worst was the rally though. Walking is one thing. Standing in place is quite another. Luckily 30 minutes later Nancy brought me my boots and the front of my feet got a reprieve. That's when I noticed my calves had been stretched farther than a Depression era can of beans. All for a good cause though.

Thanks to all of you that donated. Your generosity helped me raise $570 for Prairie Center Against Sexual Abuse and for that I am eternally grateful. Robert has agreed to walk with me next year and I know that to reach the same level of money raised I will have to up the ante. The tentative plan is for both of us to walk either dressed up as football players or in gorilla suits. Other ideas are welcomed.

As promised, here are your pics.
Check In
Lacing Up The Skates
Trying To Stand
Headed To The Parade
The Crowd Lines Up
Robert And I (you can sense the pain in my face)
Shlameil, Shlamazzo, Hossenphef, Incorporated
How Much Longer?
The Home Stretch

Nancy took plenty more pictures. If you are interested in more of them let me know.

Springfield Register story on the event.