The Severed Cortex

I shouldn't really refer to this as Day One in Hawaii because most of this day was spent on a plane. I thought I would have the brilliant idea of staying up really, really late the night before, catch a few hours sleep on the plane, then be ready to attack the 5 hour time difference when we arrive. Didn't work. I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning (a very early 9:30 p.m. in Maui), and woke up at 4:00 a.m. That's still yesterday where we are going.
I grab some of that sweet free parking at Abe Lincoln Regional Airport and Waffle House, and after a quick run through security we were ready to start the trip. I have to say that flying in and out of Springfield is a breeze. We were an hour early and we really could have waited until 30 minutes before the flight left. I will know next time.
The flight to O'Hare was easy and we had plenty of time to eat breakfast; albeit at Chili's. Hey, it will make a turd. (spoiler alert: it did later). The 9 hour flight out of O'Hare was not something I was looking forward to and neither was Nancy. She was dreading it because I'm an asshole to travel with. (It's well documented). I would like to point out for the record that it was I who was the better traveler this time.
I've never flown on a 777 before. In fact, the last large Boeing I flew was a red-eye from L.A. to New York, although I did disembark in St. Louis. They actually landed the thing too. I didn't have to pull a D.B. Cooper. That flight was pre-empted by bourbon and muscle relaxers and I slept the whole way. Otherwise I wouldn't have dealt with it as well. This 777 is bigger. Two seats on the sides and five in the middle. I was dead center of the plane but it turned out to not be that bad. Despite the name coach/economy, there is enough room for a 6 footer like me. (6'5" if you count the afro).
Nine hours is hella long though. To put that in perspective that's the same as:

• 27 innings of meat pitching baseball
• 8000+ back to back runs of Tim Wilkerson's LRS funny car
• Back to back to back NFL games (without overtime)
• Two rounds of golf on a crowded Sunday at a premier course with 18+ handicappers
• The Lord of the Rings Trilogy plus the original Porky's
• one-half of a cricket match

It also has all the excitement of watching soccer too. Luckily the iPod was up to the task. I watched a movie on it and listened to a bunch of music. Nancy abused her iPod too. I could have flown to New Zealand before it would have crapped out on me and at this point I would have done it too. By hour six Nancy wanted off the plane.
So my staying up late thing didn't work. I took an Ambien and maybe caught an hour of sleep via a dozen cat naps. That's with a neck pillow too, which I highly recommend you invest in.
We land in Maui, find our luggage, and grab a rental car. It's a Pontiac G6, which is slightly better than a Yugo, but not in styling. And of course we are starving. I brought the GPS with us and it found us a little bar called Beach Bums in the harbor at Maalaea, roughly halfway between West Maui and the South Shore. Our waitress (waiter?) reminded me of Teena Brandon, but she (he?) was outstanding. A couple of Kona Longboards and some local barbeque cured the hunger. The BBQ was great but it gave me wicked heartburn later.
Thirty minutes after eating we are checked into the Sheraton with our ocean view room. Lovely. We take a stroll on the beach, grab some margaritas poolside, and promptly realize that we are absolutely beat. We fall asleep at 8:00 p.m. Maui time and it is still light outside.

Some pics, which are massive in size. If you don't have a broadband connection don't bother.
We Arrive
Drew Drinks Beer
The Late Lunch View (the guy who rode the bike on the left wore Numero Uno colors)
Margaritas (find the gnat on the side of my cup)
My Soon To Be Facebook Profile Pic
Footprints In The Sand
The View On The Other Side of the Room